Sir Scratch-a-Lot and the Great Escape

I was staring out of my living room window, trying to decide which little job I was going to pretend to do next, when I spotted a fox sitting in the dirt, absolutely going to town on itself with a good old scratch. Judging by the lack of fur and the sorry state of its skin, it was pretty clear the poor thing had mange.

Now, I happen to know (thanks to some late-night Googling and too many wildlife documentaries) that mange is fatal unless treated. So, like any modern Good Samaritan, I turned to ChatGPT to find local charities or organisations that might be able to help.

The first step? Get a clear photo of the poor sod. I tried snapping one through the window, but it clocked me peering out and promptly shuffled round the side of the shed. Classic fox: elusive and photogenic only when they want to be.

I decided to leave it alone for a few minutes, and when I checked again, it had made itself a little bed out of dead leaves and grass. Cosy, if you’re into the whole ‘woodland crypt keeper’ vibe.

I crept into the garden, channeling all the stealth of a ninja in slippers, hoping to get a better shot. But the fox spotted me again and shuffled further down the side of the shed — now lurking at the back like it was planning something.

By this point I started to realise it was probably looking for somewhere to die. As much as I’m all for offering a peaceful final resting place, I wasn’t keen on the idea of my 3-year-old stumbling across a mange-riddled, potentially feral fox in our garden. So, I made a bit of noise to try and shoo it away.

That worked — kind of. It bolted out from behind the shed and smacked straight into the fence. It then tried five or six times to leap over it, but each attempt fell short, like a drunk at an athletics meet. After a short pause (to either plan its next move or reevaluate its life choices), it spotted a giant pot plant, used it as a launch pad, and finally cleared the fence in one majestic, scrappy leap.

Hopefully someone else finds it and can actually help the poor thing — preferably someone with a proper camera and a bit more stealth than me.

Image by Jon Pauling from Pixabay