I have purposely left it a couple of weeks since my last post. A lot has happened and I needed a bit of time away from things just to try and get my head together and sort myself out without resorting to my old ways of giving people good-hidings.
Without wishing to sound melodramatic, my entire world has come tumbling down around my ears. All the changes and the good things that people have seen in me since late last year have now crumbled away.
To be honest it has taken me a lot of effort (is that the right word I’m searching for?) not to just give up and try and finish what I started late last year. I actually believe the only reason I didn’t do it was I didn’t fancy people laughing at me again if I failed.
Stupid Dean can’t even kill himself correctly.
The girl that I had become involved with finished with me and ran off to some place far away and refuses to tell me where she is or have any contact with me at all. I have no idea what I have done and it was something that came out of the blue.
One minute we are happily having a cuddle and she is sticking her tongue in my ear, the next minute I’m being woken by her screaming at me and attacking me as three policemen stand by the bed with their mouths wide open.
I wish that was from some weird crappy TV show on one of those crappy small budget satellite channels, but sadly that is what happened.
It’s not been made any easier now she is telling lies about me. Lies that a lot of my family and so-called friends are actually believing. I’ve only hit a female once and that was when I was 9, she kicked my arse all over St Matthias School’s playground!
It happened about two weeks ago and since then I have piled on the pounds. It has got very noticeable and has got to the point where I am thinking about buying some weight loss products, but at the moment I’m not even in the mood to consider shaving my beard or having my hair cut.
The few people who don’t believe that I’m a woman-hitting spying dog-kicking control freak have been good with trying to drag me out and get my mind off it but that will not be happening for very much longer as I’m souring the mood with my miserableness.
I guess that is what I get for having the nerve to try and be happy.
No, I’m not being melodramatic.
Photo by Naseer Haider Siddiqui from FreeImages
