I actually woke up this morning in a good mood. That good mood only lasted about 20 minutes until I received a message from someone who is still in contact with ‘her’. It was a message to tell me the latest.

I’m not sure why I read his messages as they always upset me and I feel as low and as shitty as I did before. I really should just delete them without reading them but I think I read them in case she is in trouble.

According to this person she is still making up lies about me and is still blaming me for all her problems and woes. People know these are lies but nobody has the balls to say anything, they just nod and say “I know”.

It is probably not something to be proud of but I have been fighting the urge lately to just fuck her life up like she has fucked mine up. After reading the message I started thinking about how much stuff I know about her and if certain people found out it would pretty much ruin her life.

I know it is a horrible thing to think but she has put me through so much shit and pain that I think it is only natural to want some form of revenge.

I’ve got to go to the jobcentre on Wednesday to have an interview which means I will sit in a very hot office why some lazy bastard has a go at me for an hour about why I still don’t have a job.

It looks like I will have to do something as I’m looking at paying out £450 a month to rent a place. That is not even taking into account the deposit and the month’s rent in advance I need to find as well.

I’m off back to bed.