Although I didn’t actually tell the counsellor anything about me I still came out of the session feeling really drained. I went home and slept for England, even my noisy nephews could not wake me up from my blissful slumber. I’m guessing I needed to get these things out in the open, shame it was to the wrong person but at least it was a start.

I know I should be telling the person this stuff and not telling it to a counsellor. But it felt good being able to tell someone who didn’t turn around and call me names or poke fun at me. Who knows maybe some time down the line (a very long time probably) I’ll be able to actually tell this person the stuff I’ve been resisting telling them for along time.

I’ve been trying to occupy my mind as of late. I know that sitting at home thinking, moping, and listening to music with morbid lyrics, is not going to help me get through this. So I was looking at what events were about that I could go to.

I am going to see a Swedish power metal band called Sabaton tomorrow night. And I have discovered that there is a free Dimebag memorial show in Camden on Thursday (thought it was Saturday for some reason) with some great tribute bands covering the great Pantera songs.

I’m guessing it will only be Pantera songs as not a lot of people will have heard his Damageplan stuff or that he appeared on no less than four albums and EPs of Anthrax. But it should still be a good show.

I’ll probably not go though.

I recently developed something of a phobia about going out on my own. I’m not sure where this has come from. I would go out on my own almost all the time. Music gigs, comedy shows, art exhibitions and even a drink in a pub.

But recently I will get to the venue and then just turn back and go home, even if I have forked out £20 for a ticket.

Like tomorrow, for example, I’ve got a ticket to see Sabaton and I’ll be on my own, I’m really looking forward to it now but at some point tomorrow I’ll probably talk myself out of going.

After all I have all that ironing to do and I have two episodes of Columbo recorded on Sky Plus

Photo by Maare Liiv from FreeImages