I was in a mood and a half last night and probably should not have ventured outside my front door, but I went off at midnight in search of a shop that would be open to buy alcohol and cigarettes.
Someone bumped into me and made a comment along the lines of ‘watch where you’re fucking going bruv’. I didn’t argue with him I just hit him nice and hard and stood there as he tumbled to the floor like a sack of shit.
The mist descended and I steamed into him and gave him a pasting. That is how I solve a problem, I don’t talk things through (talking never works for me) I punch their fucking faces into bloody pulps of skin and blood.
Got a problem with that? Then fuck you!
The person I’ve been referring to over the past couple of days seems to have finally received the message about moving on and leaving me to live in the crap that I’ve created. Of course this person could not resist one last ‘dig’ and told me that I’m not important in anyone’s life and that I am a fucking idiot.
Well, I call them ‘digs’ but they hit me as more of an observation (although they never meant it in that way, it was certainly meant to hurt and upset me) because I’ve known that for quite a few years now (about twenty in fact). If I was not an idiot would I be cleaning toilets in a school for a living?
I know I’m not important to anyone, that is why I pull away and take the blame for a lot of things, it is better I do it than someone you care about or who is important to you.
What I wrote in my last post was meant to try and explain things but apparently it just angered them even more.
After work tonight I’m going to get nice and drunk in a pub in Walthamstow as I watch the Millwall/Leeds game. Should be interesting to see how much trouble I can get up to supporting Millwall in apart of London that is strongly Leyton Orient & West Ham.