I was making my merry way to Roman Road market this afternoon when a man drinking from a can of Special Brew approached me from the opposite direction, as he got close to me he finished his can and triumphantly slammed the empty container onto the pavement quite near to my foot and as the can bounced up it ricocheted off my leg.

He didn’t apologise he just walked past and yelled “YEAH BABY!” at the top of his lungs. I turned and shouted after him “watch where you’re throwing your rubbish” to which he replied, without even turning around, “FUCK YOU!” I scooped up his can and threw it at him, my aim must be improving because I caught him on the back of the head with it, although he wasn’t that far away.

He turned around and squared up to me demanding to know why I threw something at him, I told him it was his can that he had thrown on the floor that had hit me so I was returning it to him. He then pushed me and I pushed him back and he took a wild swing at me, I got in a few punches before he fell to the floor and a nearby stallholder intervened.

This kind of thing is why I want to up sticks and move somewhere more rural where I don’t have to come up against idiots like this all the time, I have a feeling I might have to move to another country or even another planet in order to get away from them.