Last night I went out with Reiss, we talked during the week about going somewhere different (Camden Town was mentioned quite strongly) but we decided to go to The Mucky Pup instead, which everybody who reads my blog will know is a weekly thing now.
It was very quiet in the pub (normally it is rocking) but I’m putting that down to the fact that Euro 2008 was on the telly and it was pissing down outside. Who in their right mind would go out in that kind of weather with just a t-shirt on…
We were playing pool and two blokes and a woman were also playing. The woman got Reiss’ attention and he introduced himself to the three as ‘Raven’, obviously they did not believe him and asked me what his real name is. I told them and he threw a huge strop and started shouting LAURENCE!
My first name is Laurence and my middle name is Dean, nobody calls me Laurence, even when I was a baby my mum called me Dean. There was a mix up when they got my birth certificate, she wanted Dean to be my first name and Laurence to be my second name.
Reiss thought that this would embarrass me, which it did not. Because unlike Reiss I am not at all bothered about what other people think of me and my posh name.
He found out that the woman was not actually going out with either of the men and was indeed single so he went into overdrive in order to impress her but although she was pissed she was not having any of it or his stupid face paint.
He got very upset at one point because she actually said to him “I’m not here on the pull” and he started ranting about himself and how he fails with women. I did what I normally do and moved to the other side of the bar and then Katie came over and spoke to me in between us taking our shots (we were now playing doubles).
The thing is I’ve told Reiss why he fails so spectacularly with the opposite sex many times in the past but it goes in one ear and out the other because Reiss is quite possibly the most stubborn person in the world. If he asked you for directions he would go completely the opposite way that you told him to.
He made a total and complete arse out of himself.
On the bus back to Hackney we were exchanging small talk with a random guy when he pointed to the floor and said to Reiss “There is a fiver on the floor.” Reiss picked it up and gave the guy £2.50 in change.
When we get off the bus I like to grab some food from a chip shop (pie and chips, yum!), I do not ask Reiss to come with me or wait but he does and most of the time he will moan like a bitch about it. He normally bitches when he does not want anything.
