Today I received a letter from my local council informing me that they reviewed my application to join the housing register and it has been successful. I can now apply for accommodation on their website that I’m eligible for.

It was a long and hard slog to be added to the register, I sent in ID and proof of residency with my application back in early May and they took ages to get back to me because apparently the Olympics had slowed their workload down to a crawl. I don’t know how a department with NO CONNECTION to the Olympics can be effected but I didn’t argue I just handed over more proof of residency.

I then received a letter saying that I had still not provided enough proof of residency and that they required THREE proof of residency letters for every month I have stayed at the property in the last twelve months, that meant they wanted me to supply them with thirty-six pieces of proof and none of them could be the same, so I could only hand in one from my bank, one from my doctor, etc.

I had only lived at the address eighteen months and most of my correspondence is done online these days. I contacted the office and told them how ridiculous I thought this ruling was and although the woman agreed she said there was nothing she could do. I left it and expected them to close my claim.

So I was rather surprised to read they had activated my claim, my joy was very short-lived as I read the rest of the letter:

However, you have been placed in a low band and it is therefore extremely unlikely that the council will ever offer you accommodation. People on the housing register in Tower Hamlets will wait many years before we can help them, and those in your band simply will not be offered accommodation at all unless it is sheltered accommodation or a property for the over 50s.

So what was the bloody point of telling me at all? What was the point of even taking the time to print out the letter and send it to me? I have been penalised for being normal, I can’t help thinking that if I was a scummy drug-addicted thief with twenty kids then I’d be housed within days.

The last time I was on the housing register I was on it for FIFETEEN YEARS without a single offer, can I beat my own record?