My War on Selfie Sticks Begins

My dad ordered a new lawnmower and I foolishly agreed to go and pick it up from our local Argos because this particular one was not available for delivery and he wanted to save himself a couple of quid by not buying a more expensive one. How difficult could it be to carry a box with a lawnmower in from Whitechapel to Bethnal Green?

Quite difficult when you forget to top up your fucking Oyster Card!

I took the opportunity to walk down Bethnal Green Road and up Brick Lane towards Whitechapel. I used to walk up and down Brick Lane quite a lot in my youth and it was inducing flashbacks as I walked along it today. In my head I was looking at all the new clothes shops, bistros and coffee shops, that aligned each side, and trying to see if I could remember what used to be there 25 years previously.

The box and its contents weren’t heavy, it was just big and awkward to carry. I walked along Whitechapel Road looking for a shop that would allow me to top-up my Oyster, I didn’t use the train station as they insist on a minimum of £5 and my card doesn’t normally work at their machines.

So I cut down the side streets and winded my way down to Bethnal Green Road. I must have passed about 25 newsagents on route and not one of them offered the top-up service!

As I was walking along Bethnal Green Road some absolute cunt walking in front of me pulled out a selfie stick with his phone on the end and proceeded to stop right in front of me to take a picture. Obviously I carried on walking and walked straight into him with my box and knocked his stick onto the floor. The stick broke and so did his phone.

I don’t know if he was a tourist or not, I simply said “Move, you cunt!” and carried on my way. He didn’t say anything or come after me. But what did he expect? Standing in the middle of a busy pavement taking a fucking selfie on a stick. He’s lucky I didn’t stick it up his arse!

I managed to squeeze in a run before I went to Argos. The new training plan I’m following required me to complete five miles today. A one mile warm-up that I could do as slow as I wished, a one mile cool down run at the end that I could also run as slow as I wished, and the three miles in the middle had to be run at a much faster average pace of 9:53 per mile.

I managed the one mile warm-up and I managed to do two of the three fast miles before my body pretty much gave out on me. I knew it would be tough as I’m used to doing 11:30 minute miles. When I got home I checked the time on my running app and found that I had run the two fast miles at an average pace of 9:34 (1st 9:18, 2nd 9:50). I’m going to try running the first two at 11:30 and then speed up for the final one and then work from there.

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News Reporter
Dean Saliba is a freelance writer, professional blogger, media enthusiast, keen long-distance runner, and huge professional wrestling fan, who covers a wide range of subjects and niches including: making money online, traffic generating, pro wrestling, blog reviews, football, how-to guides, music, internet marketing, athletics, and more.