I was awoken by my girlfriend’s grandson rushing in and jumping on me at 8am this morning, you might think this was rude of his mum to send him up to wake us up but she was actually being very considerate as he gets up at 6am in the bloody morning!

We couldn’t take him to school as he had spots on his body which looked like chicken pox, I wasn’t actually aware that you could catch chicken pox more than once but apparently it is very common.

After he went to the doctor we had to keep him entertained for a few hours until it was time to take him to the bus stop to see me off. I think I played with every toy he had (and he has a lot) from playing his rather cool trombone to making up a game where he throws a ball at me and I have to catch it in an old cup.

I got to the coach station with thirty minutes to spare and was delighted to find out I was first in the queue, but by the time the coach had pulled up I had been hit and jostled, one lady smashed her pram into the back off my legs as she tried to push in rather than go to the back of the queue. The controller (the guy who has the job of making people form a queue) finally lost his temper and screamed at people to form a queue, he pulled me out of the line and told me to go to the front as I was there first.

I sat at one of the tables and put my laptop bag and carrier bag of food in the seat next to me for a second when I heard a pop, a woman had sat in the seat without looking. She didn’t apologise and just stood up and impatiently waited for me to move my stuff. The laptop was fine but everything in my food bag was ruined and crushed.

I plugged my laptop into the socket and went about my business, the food squasher asked me how many sockets there were and I smiled as I replied that there was only ONE socket for the four seats and that I was using it. I then pretended the sockets and WiFi had not been turned on by the driver, she then went and asked the driver to turn them on who crossly told her they were already on. When she came back and told me I just said “Oh yes, so they are”.

She asked me if she could put her USB charger into my laptop and I said that I was using my USB ports to charge my phone and my MP3 player (I had left the player at home). I then took up more room on the table than I needed to as she huffed and puffed all the way to London because her phone was dead.

I win!