I know I said I was going to give the blog a bit of a break for a couple of weeks but since this week has had quite a lot going on I thought I’d make a quick post and try not to rip into certain people in the process.
On Monday I competed in an comedy open mic night in Stoke Newington (well Stamford Hill if you wish to be pedantic). I did not tell anybody about this as I did not want people I know turning up and heckling me from the audience, I was nervous enough as it was.
I became so nervous in the two hours leading up to the moment I took to the stage that I had smoked my way through about 20+ cigarettes and had drank about six pints of beers to try and calm myself down.
While I did not storm the place I thought I performed well and was one of only six people who got to finish their acts (open mic spots are harsh, if you suck they cut you off). My Jade Goody & Swine Flu gags went down very well, particularly my rant about Jade Goody getting a film about her life.
The audience had come to see open mic comics so they were very supportive and did not heckle at all. I think they were mainly friends and family members that the other acts had brought along to support them.
After the show I stood out in the beer garden and puffed some more. One of the other comics nicked a cigarette off me and told me she liked my misanthropic style. Although I suspect she was merely being nice because she had just stumbled across someone who gives away his cigarettes.
Tuesday I received a phone call from an employment agency who asked me if I was still looking for work and could I start that very afternoon. I had to quickly get ready and rush down to register and then jump on a bus and find the school.
They must have been desperate for workers because they offered to process the CRB check for me (hardly any employment agency does this, especially ones working with schools). I still have to pay for it but they will take the payment from my wages in two instalments.
Although it is hard work I have enjoyed it, the people have been cool. One of the supervisors slapped me on the arm when she offered me a cake and I declined on the grounds that I’m watching my weight. I’m guessing a man talking about losing weight in a room full of women is a bad (and painful) move.
Speaking of women and pain, I don’t know whether I’m a sucker for punishment. I keep people at a distance, it is nothing personal it is just the way I am. I have a hard time trusting people both male and female. Anyone who has tried to get close to me will have found their path blocked by my sarcastic wit and bitchy comments.
Every now and again I will let someone in and I’m not sure why I do because I always end up regretting it. But I think “I know this person, this time it will be OK” and it never is, it always ends the same way.
I made that mistake again recently when I told someone something rather personal about me that I have only told a couple of people. I immediately regretted spilling my guts and was assured by the person that I had nothing to fear from them telling anyone.
That was until we had a bit of a tiff and one of the first things this person did was use this personal thing that I had told them to hurt me. I handled the other insults that this person launched at me with indifference (I’m used to them) but that fucking hurt.
Maybe this time I’ll learn the lesson.