Impromptu Stag Night & Drinking With Polish Alcoholics

Reiss invited me to meet him, Billy, John and others on Friday for a bit of a drink in a couple of pubs and a club. I declined the invitation because I had a bit of a feeling that Thes might be one of the ‘others’ (and it turned out she was) and to be honest I doubt it would have been fun for her if I turned up.

To be honest I don’t have a problem keeping out of the way. Thes has been going through some personal problems lately and it cheers her up when she sees Reiss and the gang, and although I’ve been going through similar problems I think she deserves to be cheered up more.

So I spent Friday evening on my own in a couple of pubs in Walthamstow surrounded by drunk ‘loose’ women and Polish alcoholics.

Yesterday I spent the day pottering about the house and decided to go to the pub to watch the cup final. After the game I did something that I think I’ve only done a couple of times before (to only Reiss and Thes). I sent Reiss a text and asked if he fancied a quick pint before he went out later that night.

The old me would never do that. The old me’s mantra was “You want to see me then YOU contact ME.”

He planned on going to see Bull Sees Red (a band that Jenna’s sister is part of) but said he would pop in for a quick one. I don’t know why but I suddenly had the urge to go with him so I sent him another text asking if there were any tickets left to buy. He said there were and they were only about £6.

Alfie, Will and Jenna were already there and I got quite a shock when Jenna put her arms around me and hugged me. She was not drunk, as she is pregnant, so I’m guessing she thought I was someone else.

The band were OK, I liked the guitar parts but the vocalist really didn’t do it for me. There were three young guys in front of me who loved them though and were jumping around having a blast. One of them kept bumping into me which did not bother me as he apologised every time.

What did slightly worry me was he kept bumping into me with his arse. So there I was trying to look cool and lightly head banging with a young guy grinding his arse against my groin. One of his friends next to me thought this was very funny, not as funny as when she dropped half her pint down my t-shirt though.

I played table football doubles with Alfie, which was fun, but then gave way for someone else when Alfie started taking it WAY too seriously. I found out later on that it was Alfie’s impromptu stag night, which I thought was sad as every groom deserves a stag night.

We ended up moving on to a pub called The Hobgoblin which looked in an even worse state than The Intrepid Fox, Someone had even taken the time to put a blackboard above the urinals with celebrity women’s names written on it and you could vote with celebrity you would nail while you are having a piss. Very classy establishment.

The music was good though, at one point I joined in with the whole pub singing Don’t Stop Believing. Alfie and Will talked me into going to Alfie’s wedding next Saturday. I wasn’t going to go as I was not feeling very sociable but that seems to have passed now.

I said that I would go but as I was on the bus going home I suddenly started thinking that maybe it would not be such a good idea. I hate wearing suits, I feel awkward in them, I look a twat wearing them and they show off my portly carriage.

Will & Reiss kindly offered to lend me various pieces of clothing (tie, shirt, blazer), which was very nice of them but if I do go I’d prefer to buy my own gear. Not a big fan of borrowing stuff (or money for that matter) from people.

It was a nice evening. On the bus on the way home I got an unexpected lap dance when the bus jolted and a young lady fell into my lap. She apologised before saying in a rather bitchy way “but you loved it. You loved it, you pervert”. The bitch in me came out to say hello and I said something along the lines of “Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.”

It was a very nice evening, I did not get home until gone 4:30 in the morning and instead of going to bed, like any normal person who has football in the morning would, I stayed up and watched some episodes of Ideal on BBC iPlayer.

Photo by Hervé de Brabandère from FreeImages

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Dean Saliba is a freelance writer, professional blogger, media enthusiast, keen long-distance runner, and huge professional wrestling fan, who covers a wide range of subjects and niches including: making money online, traffic generating, pro wrestling, blog reviews, football, how-to guides, music, internet marketing, athletics, and more.