I’m Sorry I’m Not Who you Think I Am

[wpv-post-body][wpv-post-title][wpv-post-shortcode]I hate using the term Manic Depressive, it is such a harsh name to describe a rather sad and serious condition. And it also sounds like you are mental and should be locked up in Broadmoor. I much prefer the term Bipolar as it makes me sound like a bisexual polar bear.

My head has been all over the place recently and I’ve been ultra harsh to a couple of people who made the mistake of getting a tad too close to me. I’ve spoken many times about my acid tongue and those two (un)lucky people got a sample taste of it this past week.

I have not been as patient with one particular person as I should have been. Especially considering this person is going through some personal problems which are not a million miles away from what I’m going through. And the fact that we seemed to have a lot of time for eachother.

I would apologise but to be honest I think I’ve done that so often it has lost all meaning.

I’ve tried to explain to people before that this is what I do. I make friends and when they get a little too close for comfort (normally shortly after I’ve told them something personal about me), I push them away or cut them out of my life completely. It is a tactic to avoid people hurting or shitting on me again.

Yes, I expect the worst in people because I’m used to getting the worst in people.

So instead of getting upset with me, judging me and trying to change the way I am (I’ve been like this for over 20 years, I couldn’t change now even if I wanted to), forget about me and move on with your life.

It is for the best.

Cold – Crossfade

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say
Is I’m sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold to you

And if that was not self-indulgent enough I’m now going to go and listen to depressive metal songs and dance around the room like Morrissey.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

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