It is now almost 6:30pm on a Friday night and I am sitting in my bedroom typing on a computer in pitch darkness, why? Because I am trying to give the impression that there is nobody at home because outside it is swarming with the yobs of this estate banging on doors asking for sweets, treats & cash.
For the rest of the year these kids run amok over the estate setting fire to cars, smashing windows and generally being little shites. I think I’m the only person on the estate who dares to stand up to them and for my trouble I get their mum’s threatening me, calling me a paedophile and telling me that their kids have the right to have fun.
Then come October 31st they have the nerve to put on a crappy £2 plastic mask and go to the houses of the people they have spent the past year terrorising and demand treats!
I know people will call me a miserable cantankerous git for this but it is actually a form of begging, just like when kids used to go out and murder poor Christmas carols in the hope of being rewarded with a pound or two or asking penny for the guy.
Who knows, if you stop your kid from sticking his arm into my bedroom window and nicking stuff then I might give them some sweets next year …. possibly laced with something!