I hate it when I try and prove people wrong, especially when it is in a town or city I’ve never been to before. I always end up with egg on my face. Last year It happened in Manchester and it happened in Watford the other day.

I had stayed at a friend’s house and on the Sunday I got myself ready to leave and she advised me to get a taxi as it was an hour’s walk at the most to Watford Junction station. Being a clever twat I told her that it was cool and I could do with the walk.

So off I go, confidently striding down the road on my way to the station. I soon see a sign pointing the way to the town centre, won’t take me long. Hang on, where has the fucking pavement gone?

One minute I was walking down a busy road and the next minute the pavement disappears and I’m walking along the M25.

I walk back to see if I can catch a bus. I see a guy who looks like he knows the area and ask him where the nearest bus stop is. “No buses round here mate” is his reply, “you’ll have to go to the town centre for a bus.”

I tried the little side roads hoping to find a away to the town centre that didn’t mean having to walk along the M25 but that didn’t work, the roads would all bend away from the direction I wanted to go. There was no other solution; I was going to have to walk the M25 and risk being run over.

I ended up walking, after about ten minutes I was accosted by a couple of coppers in a police car. Apparently it is illegal for a person to walk on the motorway. I told them my plight and they took pity on me and popped me in the back and drove me to the station … the train kind, not the police kind. 

Don’t get too carried away, I found out that some dickhead had dumped something on the train track so we had to wait THREE hours for it to be removed as they had stopped all services to the station. Who does that? Who dumps shit on a train line and finds it amusing?

I never thought I would say this but I had never been so pleased to get home in my life!