Everything seems to be changing around me. My bestest mate in all the entire wide world has got himself a bird and has moved in with her in a place called Molesey and has the cheek to be happy and leave me in London, the utter bastard! I can’t believe how selfish he is! I could have lived in her shed or curled up at the bottom of their bed!

Two other friends have done disappearing acts. They have deleted their Facebook accounts, changed their phone numbers and even deleted their Twitter accounts and just vanished. Not with each other though, they don’t know each other, why would they run off together? You’re so stupid.

Everyone that I used to hang out with at the weekends have got partners and would much rather spend their weekends roaming the aisles of IKEA or painting bedrooms than coming out for a pint with me.

Oh and me and my girlfriend have split up.

I’m beginning to take this personally you bastards!

Photo by scott boyd from FreeImages