What is wrong with some people who get coaches? What is it about spending four hours on a coach that turns them into mental children clawing, biting and smashing their cases into each other just to get onto a coach that won’t leave without them anyway?

It doesn’t matter if you have been queuing nicely waiting to board the coach, they come hurtling up and barge you out of the way to cram their stupid fat arses on first. And if you say anything these bastards have the nerve to look at you like you have just accused them of molesting their child.

FUCK YOU!

I have started getting a little bit of pleasure by barging them back or deliberately pulling them back out of the way. I did that to a Jamaican guy on the coach home, before he could say anything I just looked at him and said “we were all here first, fucking wait your turn”.

Nobody said anything but you could sense the feeling in the air as everyone who had waited yelled as one “YEAH!” Although it was silent we all heard and felt it. Someone had finally stood up and said “Hey! It is not alright to push and barge people out of the way!”

Maybe that is my calling? To travel from coach station to coach station and seek out the injustice of queue jumpers.

Once on the coach we all started singing, laughing & chatting together and then Amy Lee (from Evanescence) sat next to me and told me that she had fancied me from the moment she saw me and wanted us to nip to the smelly toilet and fuck like wild animals. That’s when the screaming brat at the back of the coach woke me up.

The only time we started to bond was when we were forced to wait in the coach, in a service station car park, for over two hours while we waited for the new driver to turn up. People started getting angry and you could sense that some of the passengers would happily inflict harm on the new driver. But the only thing that wasn’t nailed down was my laptop and a barcode scanner type thing they use when they get in and out of the cab.

Not sure how much damage they would have caused, especially as I would be holding onto my laptop, making it impossible to use.

Anyway it is now 22:52pm and I am still only halfway home.