Saturday was meant to be a nice day where I would stuff my face with a full breakfast from Mr Baker’s and then head off to explore the city, because I had lost my wallet I was forced to throw my plans out of the window.

The mission was to now locate the nearest bank, report my card lost, order a new card, and withdraw some money. I bitch and moan about my bank a lot but they offer a life-saving feature where if you are stranded somewhere without your card then you can withdraw some money by being issued with a code to enter into a cash machine.

The nearest branch of my bank was 1.5 miles away so it was lucky the weather was nice because we had to walk. While I was sorting things out with the bank teller my girlfriend was standing about six feet away talking very loudly into her phone about my business so the entire bank knew what a dickhead I had been and exactly how much I was withdrawing, making it easy for any potential muggers lurking around.

We then spent the day with my girlfriend’s daughter and her little boy having some food and watching some DVDs, when the little boy went to bed we listened to music and had a drink.

My girlfriend has her youngest son living with her and when we went home he sent his girlfriend into the bedroom to sit on the end of the bed to stop us getting up to anything. I found this to be very childish as he is 19 and his girlfriend is 17, in any case I’m 33 and my girlfriend is 42 so we are at a legal age to indulge in any number of perverted shenanigans if we so wished.

I did jokingly suggest that we should have really loud sex right in front of her to both teach her a lesson and scar her young mind forever, but my girlfriend said this would be deemed as inappropriate. Spoilsport.