I got arrested today, that is the second time in under a year, what a naughty little tyke I’m turning out to be.

I was walking along the street, in a place called Stoke Newington, when across the road I saw this Jamaican guy with a yorkshire terrier (yes I did snigger to myself), the dog was peeing up a wall when the guy belted it on the back with the leash.

One thing that boils my blood is people who abuse animals, I crossed the road and by the time I got there he had struck that poor dog four times with the leash and even kicked the poor thing!

I won’t bore you with the details. I asked him if he fancied trying that shit with someone like me. He pushed me, I pushed him back, he threw a punch and I steamed into him.

Within minutes two coppers appeared out of nowhere. The male copper grabbed hold of me and got me to stand against the wall whilst the female copper helped the Jamaican guy up off the floor. The Jamaician guy scooped up his dog, as he was being helped up, and then made a dash for it.

The male copper gave chase and the female copper almost begged with me as she told me to stay where I was, I actually felt sorry for her. I did as I was told and explained to her why I was seen trying to weave him into the pavement.

The male copper came back, the Jamaican guy shot off like an olympic sprinter and he had absolutely no chance of catching him – even with a dog under his arm.

They took me to Stoke Newington police station and held me there for a couple of hours before they released me with a caution. They could not find the bloke so they had to let me go.

Photo by Penny Mathews from FreeImages