A Letter To Lucozade

I stole this from the very cool Dana’s Live Journal page.

Dear Lucozade Sport people,

I am a big fan of your ‘Lucozade Sport Orange Body Fuel’ refreshing drink, and like to enjoy a bottle as I take my early morning cycle rides. As my fitness improves and my cycle rides grow longer I have moved on from the smaller bottle to the 750ml bottle, which is enough liquid to keep me going for my entire journey.

I do however have a complaint. Quite a serious complaint. I buy this drink to give me more energy to tackle the task ahead. I then waste the same amount of energy and then some trying to open the damned bottle in the first place! Do you weld the lids shut?

I could just pop the sports cap on the bottle and enjoy my liquid this way, but no, on the 750ml bottles it is necessary to unscrew the lid first to remove a piece of plastic keeping the wonderful liquid inside. THESE SCREW LIDS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO OPEN!

I have spent the last hour trying to get into my bottle. I have lost skin on both hands on the serrated cap. My hands are sore, my throat is dry, and I am full of lethargy, all due to your ‘Body Fuel’.

I am aware from previous experience that, once I manage by some kind of magic to open the screw cap, I will have similar problems trying to remove the plastic cover inside. Trying to pull this thing off without throwing the entire contents of the bottle up the nearest available wall is also impossible.

Would you kindly consider making your bottles less human-proof in the future, or perhaps supply a sturdy set of pliers or a chainsaw with each purchase?


A very sore handed, sore throated, thirsty, annoyed customer.

News Reporter
I'm a freelance writer, blogger, media enthusiast, avid long-distance runner, and a huge professional wrestling fan. I cover a wide range of subjects and niches, including making money online, traffic generation, pro wrestling, blog reviews, football, how-to guides, music, internet marketing, and running, among others.

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