My hands are cupped around my cheeks And I find feel the coldness of my skin. It’s is like I have never been under the sun The ice that my flesh is. Why am I so cold? Why I am I so alone? Why do I shiver when it’s a hot summer’s day? I curl [...]
Everything I do is done to please other people. I have stopped smoking to please people, I have stopped drinking to please people, I have altered various aspects of myself to please people, I have taken anti-depressant pills to please people, I made an appointment with a counsellor to please people, I stand up to [...]
Things got too much for me yesterday and I decided to break my no drinking promise that I made to someone and went out on a bender. I went on a pub crawl down Old Street right through Angel and up to Essex Road on my own.
So I was sitting at my computer last night, trying to recover from reading the novel of messages someone sent me giving me an ear-bashing (:P), when I hear someone knocking on my bedroom window. Normally kids do that and run away so I ignored it but two seconds later it happened again.
I returned to football Saturday. First game since I was kicked off the team for daring to question the manager’s decisions. To be honest I sort of wish I didn’t bother going back. All I got were bollockings and abuse from pretty much every player on the team.
I had to make the journey back up to Walthamstow yesterday morning in order to answer bail at Walthamstow Police Station. They tried to put the fear of God into me by saying how lucky I was that they were dropping the charges against me, nothing to do with having no fucking chance of prosecuting [...]
The tiredness is still very much swamping me. I’m hoping that this will not continue much longer as it is incredibly annoying to become so tired after doing really basic things like writing a blog post or making a cup of tea.
I’ve been doing nothing but sleeping for the past couple of days. I was taking an antidepressant medication called Fluoxetine but found that it made me sick and feel like shit a lot of the time so I’ve decided to stop taking it and it is taking a bit of time to get used to [...]
I’ve been coerced into returning to this blog and writing again instead of posting music videos of various songs that I probably should not be listening to in my current mindset. It seems that some people actually missed my angry posts.
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