Category: General

Not Your Typical Funeral #1

It may sound incredible for me to divulge to you that in 33 years I have only been to one funeral, that was the funeral of my Great Nan back when I was about 16. I’m not sure if this means anything, have I just been rather lucky not to have lost that many people [...]

The Revenge Of The Shellards

Since I got back from Manchester at the weekend I have been struck down by a cough and a cold that was given to me by my ex-girlfriend’s evil three year old grandson. I thought he loved me as he crawled all over me, snuggled up to me to watch Fireman Sam and randomly coughed [...]

Manchester On A Friday Night Is Like Zombieland

I spent the weekend in Manchester. I got the midnight coach up Friday night and pulled into Manchester at 3:30am Saturday morning. I struggled through the city centre among the constant stream of drunk people staggering towards me like zombies, drunken half naked zombies, and caught the bus to Wythenshawe where my ex-girlfriend lives.

I’m Falling Apart At The Seams

I think my time playing football might be coming to an end. I know I have said this more times than that naughty little boy cried wolf, but I think this time it might actually be happening.

Almost Arrested For Taking The Piss

Yesterday was football training night with SE Lions, they are the team I play for on a Sunday. I got to Southwark Park early, we normally train & play here, but because of the light we were playing somewhere else and the assistant manager was going to meet me in the park (oo-er!).

Getting Revenge On The Nuisance Neighbours

Some of you may not be aware but since we moved into the new flat (in March I believe it was) we have had an ongoing problem with one of the neighbouring families from the third floor. They constantly allow their 3 year old child to throw things from their back balcony.

Everyone Is Leaving Me!

Everything seems to be changing around me. My bestest mate in all the entire wide world has got himself a bird and has moved in with her in a place called Molesey and has the cheek to be happy and leave me in London, the utter bastard! I can’t believe how selfish he is! I [...]

My Father The Post Botherer

A couple of months ago a parcel was delivered to our flat for somebody else, they had tried to deliver it to them but there was no answer so they asked if we would take it in for them. I always say ‘yes’ because it is a nice neighbourly thing to do and hopefully they [...]

Two Training Session In One evening

After yesterday’s disappointment I decided that if today’s team messed me about then I would probably call it a day and continue sitting on the bench for Custom House. I may not like being overlooked but at least they have regular training sessions.

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