Falling At The First Hurdle

I had a dream last night that I was taking part in a game show where I had to try as many ways of killing myself as I could think of. I’ve had dreams about killing myself before (and many many thoughts whilst awake) but this one was different for two reasons:

1. It was one of those dreams where you felt the dream, if that makes any sense. I dreamt about cutting my wrists and hanging myself and when I woke up my neck and wrists really hurt.

2. It was in the form of a game show. What the fuck was that all about?

Now that I think about it a little more there was no prize for ‘winning’ and even if I did win the non-existant prize I would be dead and therefore unable to spend or utilise the prize at all. Unless death was the prize.

It didn’t freak me out like some dreams do. I woke up really happy, you know how you do sometimes before your brain reminds you of how shit you and your life is and then you return to your normal state.

After my encounter with Thes yesterday I agreed that I would go to the doctor today and speak to him/her about my problems as they would be able to help.

9am this morning I phoned the nosey bitch who works on the reception desk at the doctors and made an appointment for 11am.

What do you think I will do today?

A) Go to the doctor and spill my soul?

Or

b) Bottle the appointment & got stoned while listening to very depressing music and thinking morbid thoughts.

The prize for guessing correctly is a nice warm glow of knowing you are a smart arse.

EDIT: The answer was B.

It was very nice of her to try but we’ll have to chalk this one down to chasing a lost cause.

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