Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

Today was ‘D Day’ for it was the day that me and Thes met for a cup of tea (camomile in her case, I was normal) to hold crisis talks like two war-torn countries meeting after a very long bloody war.

To be honest I was in two minds whether to go or cancel as I was still rather pissed off about the football match yesterday and I was feeling really uncomfortable about meeting up with her after some of the insults we had both hurled at eachother (me more than she).

I had a lot that I wanted to say to her and get off my chest but no sooner had I arrived at Starbucks (I know I’m a shameless sellout whore now) my stupid pointless brain decided that this would be the ideal time to go and kick me in the bollocks and stop functioning.

Instead of sitting there telling her things I’ve wanted to say for months, and trying to explain myself, I became overcome with nervousness, nausea, dizziness and an incredible hot sensation that had me sweating profusely. At one point I had to quickly go around the corner to find a bin to be sick in, much to the disgust of the families who were playing in a nearby park.

I pretty much sat there smoking, biting my nails and looking around nervously as I desperately tried to kickstart my brain into thinking again. Thes wasn’t pleased and made remarks like “this is uncomfortable” and “I think I’ll go”.

On the bus on the way home I started kicking myself (not literally, although some of you would like that I’m sure) for not being able to think of the shit that I had been wanting to say when guess who came to visit? That’s right, my cunt of a brain returned and brought all the things I wanted to say with it.

Bit too fucking late now you useless stupid brain!

I became so annoyed with myself and my stupid AWOL brain that I got off the bus and tried to kill a bit of my brain for having the nerve to leave me when I needed it. The barmaid was giving me worrying looks as I sat at my table and every now and again muttered “stupid idiot” at myself.

I hate you, you stupid useless brain.

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