Don Larry

My dad seems to have transformed himself into a wannabe mafia don boss lately. He has taken to wearing an expensive dressing gown that is embroidered on the back. He has also started smoking fat expensive cigars and drinking glasses of whiskey and/or rum.

He sits in his chair all day puffing cigars, drinking whiskey or rum and talking about ‘the family’. When he mentions someone is coming up to see him if anyone asks who it is he replies by tapping his nose with his finger and saying “nobody you need to worry yourself about”.

He is going to start a new busines venture buying and selling gold. What this entails his him phoning every member of ‘the family’ and asking them if they, or anyone they know, has any gold jewellery they don’t want he will buy it from them and then send it away to have it melted down to sell on.

How dodgy does that sound?

If he tries to give me the kiss of death I’m out of there!

The doctor gave him his new prescription the other day, he had about ten bottles of this colon cleanser stuff. The last thing he needs is any help with his bowels. Trust me never use the loo after he has been in there. I send in the dog to see if it is safe.

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