Yesterday I traveled to North Finchley to see Paul Chowdhry at the Arts Depot. On paper the traveling from Bethnal Green to North Finchley seemed like it would be the kind of journey normally reserved for explorers going to the North Pole, but it was actually pretty straight forward. Just a case of catching two buses.

On the first bus I sat down in a chair that has one of those notices saying you should give this seat up to a disabled or elderly person. A man with crutches boarded the bus and before I could offer my seat a young lady nearby offered him hers and he declined saying he was getting off in a couple of stops.

I thought it would be pointless offering him my seat now so I didn’t, the entire bus glared at me until we got to Holloway. In their eyes I was an evil cunt who would not give up his seat to someone with crutches.

I got lost but in typical alky fashion I managed to find my way to the Tally Ho pub and popped in for a quick pint. I thought the woman behind the bar had made a mistake when she charged me £1.50 for a pint of Black Adder but then I remembered it was a Wetherspoons and they have cheap prices to encourage binge drinking.

I made a ‘friend’ while I was in there. Some bloke collecting glasses wondered over every 10 minutes to talk to me like he knew me for years. I have no idea who is he but he thought we were best pals. I thought it best just to humour him rather than be rude.

The show was good. I had to use the loo during his set and apparently that was the moment when he did my favourite gag of his. The heartless bastard. I bet he waited for that moment!

After the show I went back to The Tally Ho and thought I might as well see out the evening in there rather than go to another pub, because I’m lazy. A group came in who were already drunk and wasted no time in downing more shots and getting very loud.

I could hear them from the other side of the pub, I could actually hear what they were saying. I now know one of the women in the group has a vagina so large it is like the Channel Tunnel and another has not had sex in over a year & is gagging for it. Not sure why the entire pub needed to know these two pieces of information.

They soon were not content with being loud, they wanted to add something else to it and this came in the form of groping men as they walked past. They were occupying a table near the toilets and from where I was sitting you had to go past them if you wanted to go outside, to the bar or to the toilet.

The two 60 year olds that were sitting near me loved it though, they got up as often as they could to get molested by the cackling group of large drunk women.

I stayed until midnight when the place closed. I did not fancy going home yet so I was standing outside when I saw a group come out and start deciding on where they could carry on their night. I followed them like a drunken alky stalker as they led me to another pub that stayed open till 2am. I was not the only one. Some people were following me following the group.

About 2:30 I thought it was about time I went home.

It is nice to go to a different part of London and frequent some of the pubs. On Wednesday I am meant to be going to another part of Finchley (Finchley Central) to a new comedy show. I say ‘meant’ because I’m actually wondering if I should as someone pointed out to me that it is a bit weird I am going all that way just to see some new comics I’ve never heard of before.

But then again it was probably weird that I stayed in Finchley when everyone else I know was at a birthday bash in Angel. I enjoyed it though, except the groping …. OK, maybe a little.

Two of the jobs that I applied for on Monday I might still be in with a shout of getting despite not having an enhanced CRB check.

The first one left me a voicemail on Tuesday and when I contacted them I was told that the person would phone me back before the end of the day but that they probably won’t be interested in hiring me due to my lack of an enhanced CRB check.

She called back Friday at 5:45pm but sadly I was out on one of my walks when she rang so she left me another voicemail. I shall contact them Monday morning and see what happens with that one.

My battary needed charging which is why I left the phone at home. When I got back I found a second voicemail from another job asking me to contact them as they wanted me to come in for an interview and the only day they were interviewing was Friday. This means I owuld have 30 minutes to get ready and travel for the interview.

Again I’ll phone them Monday and see if they are conducting anymore interviews in other areas of London.

All week I carried my phone with me and the only time I leave it at home for 15 minutes two jobs phone me! Bloody typical!

I have not made a post this week (well one that I was not paid to do) so I thought it was about time that I did so. I have no excuse really apart from the fact that I have been trying not to spend so much time on the internet.

The week has more or less been a good one for me. Nothing has really happened to lift the cloak of depression that I was suffering from, and there were glimpses of it coming back but thankfully I have managed to fight it off by going for walks, putting a comedy DVD on or just chatting to a couple of people on MSN and Facebook.

A couple of people that I fell out with or insulted seem to be slowly but surely talking to me now which is another reason to smile. One of them has not spoken to me in about 12 years. Mental note, never shag a mate’s sister, they don’t like it.

I got a really good report in the latest Bethnal Green Celtic match report and was quite flattered to find out that I had been given the Man Of The Match award, despite being very unfit and out of breath most of the game.

As I’ve said before I’m going to North Finchley to see Paul Chowdhry on Saturday, I’m really looking forward to this. I’m not going to Reiss’ birthday bash as I don’t think it would be right to turn up when I’m not welcome so I’m going to stick around North Finchley for a couple of hours in one of the pubs and get drunk on my own.

I’ll be back in Finchley on Wednesday when a new open mic comedy night is being put on at a pub called The Catcher In The Rye in Finchley Central. Then on the Thursday I’m going to see another comedy show in Angel at The Regent pub.

On Sunday May 3rd I will be going to Borough to see a comedy show where the comics don’t tell jokes but funny stories that have happened in their lives. They have to be true stories and they have to be funny. It is a bit different.

On Monday I went mental and applied for 16 jobs. Sadly I was unsuccessful in getting any of them. One of them called back the next day but they were put off (like all the rest) when they found out that I do not have a CRB check.

There are three stumbling blocks. Firstly more and more employers are insisting that you pay for this yourself. Secondly you can not buy one, the employer has to. And thirdly most companies are now stating that you must already have it before you apply for the job.

Bit of a catch 22 situation here.

But apart from that it has been a good week so far.

I have recently dropped my current satellite company as I was far from happy with their service and the way that their telephone staff treat their customers when they contact them to complain about the service.

Sadly in the UK there are not that many options when it comes to getting satellite installed into your home. Now in the US, on the other hand, you have lots of companies and because there are lots of them they drop their prices in a bid to entice you to use them.

Hughes Net is just one of the many companies doing the rounds overseas.

Hughes Net offers not only have some good deals on getting satellite installed into your home but they also do a good deal on satellite Internet into the bargain.

At the moment they are running a deal where you get free installation, $100 back by mail-in rebate and $50 for every person that you refer to them who take out their own subscription. Not a bad Hughe Net Dealif ever there was one!

Hughes Net satellite Internet is very popular in the US as many rural areas of the country are still unable to access cable (in this day and age!) so satellite Internet is the perfect answer.

According the blurb on their site it is 30 times faster than dial up, won’t interfare with your phoneline, can be used anywhere where you live and is very easy to set up.

The deal that I mentioned above runs out on April 24th so I’d hurry if I were you!

Last night I decided to watch the latest Louis Theroux documentary that was airing on BBC One. I’m not sure why I put myself through this because the guy always irritates me beyond belief. I put it down to nothing else being on. This latest episode was about paedophiles. And what was his conclusion? Paedophiles are a bit strange.

Of course they are strange! THEY FUCK CHILDREN!

He states the complete obvious and never asks the questions you think should really be asked. I can not wait for his next documentary on Argentina travel where he will make such conclusions as “Argentina hates the British for owning the Falklands” and “their name begins with the letter A”.

My favourite one was when he slagged off professional wrestling and the wrestlers dragged him into the ring and made him workout until he vomited blood. Brilliant!

I ended up watching Father Ted and the under-rated IT Crowd which cheered me up again. Maybe that is what the doctors should prescribe for depression. Never mind dishing out pills how about prescribing some top notch comedy instead?