Diet Pills? A Pill To Help You Diet?

Being someone who is overweight I have tried lots of diets over the past 10 years to try and shed the pounds and most of them I have failed miserably at.

There are other options such as surgery (no thank you) but the one option that I have seen becoming increasingly popular over the past couple of years are diet pills such as Lipovox.

I was always under the impression that diet pills do not work but apparently they do work but not in the way we imagine. They do not magicly remove the fat that we have gained, what they do is use various chemicals to help reduce our appitite so we don’t feel as hungry.

I do not know anyone who uses such products but a quick search on the internet reveals many glowing testimonials. Whilst they may work for other people I think more exercise on my part will work even better than putting even more chemicals into my body.

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Reiss Is Turning Into Adrian (Part 2)

I made the short trip to Leyton to watch them take on Millwall. I wanted to go into the away end but the tickets were sold within hours of going on sale plus you have to hold a membership card and I refuse to buy one out of protest. So I did what about 500 odd Millwall fans did and purchased a ticket for the home end.

The Orient fans knew we were Millwall straight away and although there was lots of banter going back and forth there was no trouble until the police decided to wade into us and remove us with force. I personally thought it was a little extreme but I know better than to argue with the filth.

Against my better judgment I decided to meet up with Reiss last night. I had put his actions of the previous night down to the amount of alcohol he had consumed, I was to find out that this was a mistake.

Fox and Adrian were meant to be joining us (Fox’s wife is in India so he wanted to make the most of it) but apparently Fox wanted a night in front of the telly and Adrian is in and out of hospital with a throat problem.

I again roasted him on the pool table and he again yelled, screamed, stamped, drew on his arm with chalk and spilt his drinks over my clothing. I ended up going home early, mainly because I wanted to catch the Ricky Hatton fight but also due to Reiss being an arse.

Reiss made a joke Friday and yesterday about wanting to become the new Adrian. I’d say he is on his way to accomplishing this.

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Shaking Hands With Mickey

Recently I have been really getting into a sitcom called The Smoking Room, it was shown on BBC3 but I managed to get both series on DVD for a tenner and have been happily wearing out the discs.

Possibly my favourite character in the show is an old grizzly security guard called Len (played by Leslie Schofield from Jonny Briggs & EastEnders fame) who swears more than even me.

One of his best lines was when he was talking about going to see Mickey Mouse at DisneyLand (”I can’t wait to shake hands with Mickey”) and one of the female staff members thinking he was talking about going to the toilet.

Speaking of Disney vacations. One of my sisters is planning to take her two kids there soon. She has a knack of sniffing out good deals and apparently has found a great one where she can take the kids (and her boyfriend) for about $500 for three days.

Good job I’m not going, I don’t think I’d get on with the crowds, or those stupid fools in costumes prancing about.

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Reiss Is Turning Into Adrian! (Part 1)

Someone told me that one of the reasons my puppy might be wrecking my house is due to not getting enough exercise, so I decided to take her to the local park before work and give her a run. Not only is she scared of the park but she jumped up at me a lot and would just sit next to me and whine.

About an hour later I was sitting on the train and getting the normal weird looks, I just happened to look down and saw that my jacket, jeans and trainers were caked in mud and possibly dog shit.

I had to get off the train and go home to change but I found no suitable jeans that I could wear so I took the day off and went clothes shopping instead. I don’t know why I do this as I hate clothes shopping and I also hate having to mingle with the fuckwits that I seem to encounter when I go shopping.

I ended up walking behind a woman who had about 10 bags of shopping in each hand, was walking one step every minute and blocking the entire pavement. I had to resist the urge to kick her in the back and scream at her to ‘get a fucking cab’. Only worse are the idiots who are talking on their phone and will zig-zag in front of you when they see you try and get past!

Last night I went to meet up with Reiss and Fox at The Mucky Pup in Islington. I have not seen Fox in a very long time so it was nice to see the lesbian attacking son of a gun again, even if he did creep me out by telling me about his impotency problems the first time we met.

I knew the night was going to be a bit special when two drunk 30+ year old primary school teachers turned to the three of us and asked rather loudly “Which one of you lads has just farted?!” Of course it was Reiss, it is always Reiss.

I’ve been giving Reiss an absolute hiding on the pool table lately, so much so that Reiss has taken to celebrating rare victories over me by screaming at the top of his voice, grabbing the pool chalk and marking his arm each time.

He was actually quite embarrassing last last night. He spilt his drinks on my jeans & my new coat, was loud, started screaming & shouting when a guy we played pool with touched him on the shoulder and said “well played lads” and was generally an utter arse.

I put it down to the alcohol that he had consumed as he told me that he and Fox had hit a few places before meeting me and downed some very lethal cocktails.

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My Bachelor Pad Is Taking Shape

I will be getting paid on Friday so probably over the weekend I shall be going out to look for some home theater carpeting for my room that I am planning to turn into some supercool bachelor pad that nobody will be allowed to venture into.

I was going to buy a plasma TV that I have had my eye on for a while but I currently have no carpet on my bedroom floor and it is bloody cold when I get up in the morning for work!

I also plan to buy some freaky cool leather chairs, well you do need some expensively comfy chairs to go with that big fuck-off television.

In other news

Sadly it looks like my plans to make a dent in Blog Idol II have gone for a burden as I had a bit of trouble with my webhost last week and they shut me down for a couple of days and I lost all the subscribers that I have gathered.

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I Had A Bit Of A Crap Day Today

Firstly the new Ipod that I have would not play the songs that I had downloaded so all I could listen to on the way to and from work was three crappy Nickelback songs that Wayne had already put on there. He did not tell me that I need to install ITunes and upload them that way!

I got a bollocking at work today by my manager for something that Wayne had told me to do.

Every Friday the last 30 minutes are dedicated to doing your time sheet. Wayne told me that as soon as you finish the time sheet you can go home and as I update my time sheet daily it only took me a couple of minutes and off home I went.

Apparently this is wrong and it got me a tongue-lashing. She also had a go at me for coming in early and working through my lunch. Apparently it is illegal for me to work right through my lunch. I can, however, work through half of it but not all of it.

Who the hell made that fucking cunting rule?

The team that I play for (AFC Ealing) has folded so I contacted a club this morning to see if they would be looking for a new defender. Instead of saying no I basically got told to fuck off.

It turns out the club had sent a scout to the game where we were hammered 14-1 in the cup by Clissold Park (they play in the same division as Clissold and were checking their tactics) and did not want a defender from AFC Ealing after such a result.

What they did not know was that at about 5-0 I went upfront and caused them quite a few problems, so much so that their defenders had to resort to fouling me and obstructing me to keep me at bay.

I came home very tired. My sister had given me an old babygate to stop my puppy from tearing up the post, it works as the post and leaflets were intact. I walked into the front room and saw the cushions on the floor as normal, this would take me 30 seconds to fix. Just as I was about to say ‘good girl’ I noticed she had chewed to pieces the two controllers to Wayne’s PS3!

How in the hell she had got hold of the controllers I have no idea as I had put them out of her way.

Maybe that is karma for getting me into trouble at work?

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Toxic Slut Baby!

Last night I went to see Jenna’s band (Toxic Slut) perform at the Hope & Anchor, I have only seen the band once before and could not enjoy the gig as I was very hot and had to step outside a couple of times because I thought I was going to faint.

This time I was able to enjoy the gig, although I did have to tell a guy behind me that I was not remotely interested in what he would like to do to Jenna’s arse so could he stop shouting it in my ear!

I was also very disappointed that they omitted to play their excellent cover of So Macho.

I was told off by Mr. Will tonight. He has subscribed to my blog and was not happy that I post paid reviews on my blog, these are posts that I am paid to write and like a shameless whore will write about almost anything.

Although Will is the only person who has complained I have promised that I will limit my reviews to maybe two a week. I don’t see the fuss anyway, who does not want to learn about acne or cheap prams?

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Acne At My Age?

I am 30 years of age and I am starting to get acne!

I thought that sort of thing only happened to horrible teenagers, but it appears that ugly 30 year olds can get it as well. What makes it even worse is if I pop the spots then patches of psoriasis grow in its place!

It happens to me every time I have to use something that has soap in it (mainly when I shave). Maybe I need to go and ask the doctor, his face will be a picture when I ask him for some acne treatment at my age!

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And On Top Of This It Poured Down!

I was on a number 55 bus this evening (some heartless selfish bastard had thrown themselves under a train at Oxford Circus earlier in the day and there were still 20 minute waits between each train) when two black teenage boys got on the bus and decided to sit in the seats behind me.

I suddenly became very nervous for no apparent reason. These kids were not even talking they were merely staring out the window at the people running to hide from the rain or staring around the bus in a bored fashion.

I did think about maybe moving further down the bus but then I started to think that this may make me look racist or racial stereotyping. I could have gone downstairs but then I thought they might realise when they look out the window and do not see me get off, or come down to get off and find me sitting ’safely’ downstairs.

That might give them fair more reason to shove their knife through my face!

It wasn’t until I was walking down Bishops Way that I started feeling rather foolish and was openly chuckling to myself about it, so much that I forced a woman to cross the road and almost get run over rather than risk walking past the laughing weirdo.

What was her problem anyway? Can’t I walk down the street without someone judging me irrationally….

My dog has not been well lately so I asked Wayne to arrange for an appointment with the vet. Since he was not in work today he took her up there for me. She was diagnosed with a rather painful infection in her bum.

I have some very expensive tablets to give her, if they do not work then we will be back at the vet next Monday here she will undergo a procedure that is basically an enema for animals.

I hope it does not come down to the enema treatment, they will sting me for about £150.00!

Has anyone got a spare bit of garden hose laying about?

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I’ve Entered Blog Idol II

I have decided to enter a competition online called Blog Idol II.

The premise of the competition is pretty straight forward, you have to get as many people to subscribe to your blog in the month of November as you can. Every week your tally is judged and you gain a set amount of points and the blog with the most points at the end of November is the winner.

They will also give extra points for the blogs who use wacky ways to get subscribers. So I am trying to think of ingenious ways of enticing people to subscribe to my blog. You are not allowed to spend any money, offer any prizes or trick people to come to your site via hijacking other sites or blogs.

My blog is small and I am competing against blogs with as many as 2,000 subscribers (this is the limit, no blog with more was allowed to enter to try and keep it far) so I shall have to try and be pretty crafty.

Ingenious Method #1

I created a group on Facebook and invited the 84 contacts I have. I also created a page for Dean Saliba Dot Com on there and asked the 84 contacts to become fans of the blog.

If you are reading this blog and you have not subscribed yet why not? You will be helping me in my quest to win Blog Idol, or at the very least not end up at the bottom of the table at he en of the month!

Popularity: 7% [?]

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