Every night I will scan and clean up my dads computer for him, I do it because I can sit in the front room, watch Sky and play Football Manager on his machine, but obviously I pretend I am cleaning his computer up to be a nice and loving son.

Every night I normally clean out abou 50-70 viruses, about 10-15 trojans and hundreds of spyware. When I returned from my weekend away I made the mistake of cleaning his computer up and was faced with the horrible task of having to dig into his computer to remove some very stubborn programs.

I ended up removing over 200 viruses, 47 trojans and over 12,000 pieces of spyware. How the hell does one person accum that much in only three days?!

Well a couple of days ago the computer had finally had enough and died. I recognised the problem as I’ve seen it happen before, one of the viruses he had downloaded had killed his hard drive.

The thing is I had warned him about looking at certain web sites because they install these viruses and stuff to your computer without your knowledge but he thinks I’m an idiot so I simply laughed at him when he told me his computer does not work anymore.

He does not believe it is a virus and a grand daughter from the Maltese side of the family has been summoned to come and fix it. Hey, I’ve only been working with computers for 10 years so what the hell do I know about them?