After two weeks doing my little workout, to try and lose a bit of weight and sort my wrist out, I tried to up the weight from 15lbs to 20lbs but my wrist started hurting really badly so I decided to just increase the amount of reps I did instead.

I increased each set from 20 to 25, I have to do this slowly as I do not want to injure my wrist like I did when I re-tore my hamstring by trying to do to much too soon when I injured it a couple of seasons ago.

I’ll keep this for another two weeks then either try and increase the weight or increase the reps depending on how my wrist feels.

I added a new workout; I’m hoping to do this every now and again. I’m not sure of the proper name for it but you lift the barbell over your head but you bring it down behind your head to shoulder height and then lift again. It is a killer!

I have also started running again. I’m going to start running Monday, Wednesday & Friday for a couple of miles each time just to see how it goes, but knowing how much I love running I’ll probably increase the length way before I should.

I should really follow my running training guide that I wrote in school then I might be able to give it a bit of credibility when I decide to put it into book form as many people have suggested I should.

So my new workout is now:

25 Barbell curls (Repeat 5 times)
20 Sit-ups (Repeat 5 times)
25 Bench presses (Repeat 5 times)

Popularity: 3% [?]

Pre-season training is well underway at Acton Town, I have not been for a couple of weeks and I really felt it when we got into a training match. I only managed 20 minutes before I was on my knees gasping for breath.

We have some new faces in the team now, one of them jumped into a challenge on me and stamped on my foot and did not apologise, I reacted by twatting the ball away and swearing at the top of my voice at him. Learnmore came running over to calm me down as he thought I was going to kick his head in. About a minute later this prick had the ball and I went right through him.

Jayson has seen this happen many times before, he saw me lock into the guy and just rush at him and clatter him nice and hard. Jayson was laughing as I jogged past him because when I did it I sarcastically said “Oh sorry!” That will teach him to foul me and not apologise - Welcome to Acton Town son!

I paid half of my registration fee and I have until the 28th of July to get the rest together, which should not be that difficult. As I paid half of the money I was given my training kit which is to be worn every training session or I will be fined. I’ll have to make sure my dad does not put any of his washing in with it as when he does my clothes get bits of fabric stuck all over them.

Reiss sent me a text as I was going to training saying that he may not be able to come to the comedy club as his uncle and cousin had been arrested and he had to go to Essex with his folks to help sort it out, I guess. He ended up not getting back in time and he missed a fucking brilliant night.

When I got off the train, after training, I decided that I would grab something to eat, have a bath, change my clothes and go to the comedy show on my own. Whilst I was in the queue to get into the club I was molested by a group of overweight drunk women on a hen night, they all had Alice bands on their heads with inflatable penises on them.

I bought a jug of beer and took my seat. There were three blokes sitting to the right of me and one of them kept unleashing silent farts and it was the most disgusting stink I have ever had the misfortune to smell, and I have been in sewers! Even his two mates were having a go at him and telling him he needed to go to hospital, they ended up leaving about half way through the evening.

Before the show started a girl tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if the seats on my left were taken, I told her she could have them and she asked me if I could move up one as there was only three and she needed four. I moved up and she sat down with two other girls and a bloke.

I almost got picked on by Lee Hurst again. When he came on he was talking about having a cold and his first joke was “I’d ask if there was a doctor in the house but I’d be afraid if there was!”, I was one of the first people in the room to get this joke and I laughed very loudly and he looked in my direction and shouted “We have a sharp one in tonight!”. Thankfully I was at the back and the lights stopped him from seeing me. It took about 30 seconds for the rest of the people to get the joke!

I found out that the girl sitting next to me was called Jennifer (not only did she have the same name as my first girlfriend but fuck me she looked the spitting image of her as well) as her posh mate asked her if she fancied another glass of wine. She pulled a bottle out from under her chair and said she was OK for the moment.

She kept saying thank you to me for moving up one whole seat …ONE WHOLE SEAT! At the first interval they buggered off to get some “traditional East End fare” which turned out to be burger and chips.

I went and got myself another jug of beer, the girl who served me the first time served me again and did not ask me what I wanted she just poured it. As I was waiting for my change this drunken bloke barged some poor woman out of the way and tried to force his way to the bar by elbowing me quite hard. I exchanged some words with him and some guy came over and threatened to throw him out, I’m not sure if he was a doorman as the normal guy was working that night.

As I was sitting in my seat waiting for the second part of the show Jennifer and her friends came back from their traditional East End fare and seemed fine from it. She thanked me again for moving and pulled out her bottle of wine and said she was going to enjoy herself tonight.

I bent down and picked up my whole jug of beer and said “So am I!” as I poured myself a pint, she called me an alcoholic and then took a nice big swig of wine from her bottle before pouring herself a glass and then clinking her plastic glass with mine and yelling “cheers” in my ear.

During the last interval I went and got myself a pint, when I sat back in my seat Jennifer suddenly realised that I was on my own and then took pity on me and decided to indulge me in some small talk which ended in her telling me four times in the space of about two minutes that she was “well bladdered”.

She thought that I was a student, judging the way I was dressed, and she would not accept that I was actually 28 and not 21 as she had thought. I was wearing a pair of Converse shoes, black faded jeans and a brown t-shirt so I guess I could have looked like a manky student, especially with my weird hair!

When she found out my age she took a bit of a shine to me and kept talking to me throughout the final third of the show and touching my leg every time Dougie Dunlop cracked a joke.

When we went outside she asked me if I knew of any pubs in the area that would be open now, I told her to try The Hayfield and gave them directions, she asked me if I fancied tagging along but the effects of the training session I had earlier had finally caught up with me and I took a rain-cheque and went home to stuff my face and fall asleep in front of The Wrestling Channel.

I’ve got to go to the comedy club on my own a lot more!

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This was passed onto me by someone who found it on the website of Maxim magazine. I found it humorous so I thought I would share it.

The Ultimate Warrior
Age: 48
Odds that he’ll die before 2008: 20 to 1
Why he should be dead: For the better part of the late ’90s, we actually thought the Warrior (his legal name since 1993) was dead. His disappearance from the ring sparked countless rumors of his demise, but the man once known as Jim “Justice” Hellwig is still alive and delivering rant-filled speeches to directionless college kids all over the country. The clip proves his brain is mostly dead, so his (probably) steroid-riddled body can’t be far behind.

How he’ll die: Years spent screaming at the top of his lungs and tying off his joints to make his veins pop result in an explosive brain aneurysm during one of The Warrior’s tirades.

The Iron Sheik
Age: 67
Odds that he’ll die before 2008: 5 to 1
Why he should be dead: As Howard Stern fans already know, the Sheik has a bit of a drinking problem, along with a volatile temper that makes Ron Artest look like John Stockton…in short shorts. Plus, we’re pretty sure there’s nothing but tumors underneath that mustache.

How he’ll die: We’re guessing bear attack. It’s a long shot, but given the unlikely circumstances that have taken the lives of other professional wrestlers, it’s not entirely unreasonable.

Ric Flair
Age: 58
Odds that he’ll die before 2008: 8 to 1
Why he should be dead: We were shocked to find out that Nature Boy was born in 1949 rather than the late 1800s. It’s obvious that he still has all the style and charisma that made him a legend, but he’s also spent more time in the sun than the pyramids. Skin isn’t supposed to be bright orange, unless it’s on top of a delicious bowl of macaroni and cheese.

How he’ll die: Flair will tragically choke to death in a feather boa accident. During the autopsy, doctors will find that his skin was replaced with that of a beanbag around 1989.

Dusty Rhodes
Age: 41
Odds that he’ll die before 2008: 10 to 1
Why he should be dead: Even when Dusty was in his prime, his man boobs suggested that the American Dream spent as much time with Bit-O-Honeys as he did with barbells. Now that he has no reason to exercise, he has a regular seat in every rib joint south of Delaware.

How he’ll die: Can you overdose on barbecue sauce? If anyone can find out, it’ll be Dusty.

Popularity: 4% [?]

I was looking out of my front room window this afternoon and in the garden below I saw a dog giving another dog what can only be described as a blowjob.

That is something I should have never had to see!

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The day has finally arrived! Despite all the moaning and campaigning by people demanding the right to smoke you can now not smoke in any pub in the United Kingdom. I know as an ex-smoker this may sound slightly hypocritical but I am pleased because now my clothes will not stink of stale cigarette smoke anymore!

I do not know how it happened but on Friday night I dropped my mobile phone and did not notice that the battery had fallen out so Saturday morning I had to go to a mobile phone shop on Bethnal Green Road, in the pissing rain, to get a new one, I was absolutely soaked when I got back.

I caught a programme on BBC Four last night about children’s TV, it featured all the classics that I loved and hated growing up plus the new generation of programmes. The sad thing was when they said that the BBC were no longer doing children’s programming for anyone over 11 years of age, this saw the end of Grange Hill and Byker Grove!

That is a bit shit, it has been the way for decades, 3:30-6pm was Children’s TV as millions of kids all over the country would sit in front of the telly and flick from BBC One to ITV to watch their favourite shows until the boring Six O’Clock News would come on.

I still fondly remember Saturday morning TV as a kid…

Popularity: 3% [?]