My dad came rushing into the front room today shouting that someone had sent him a text message saying “Contact Lisa”.

I checked every single message and was even forced to read them out aloud to him to prove that no message existed. I then had to read out every message that had ever been sent from his phone (he never deletes them).

He asked me to check every call made and received from his phone, none of them mentioned a Lisa. In fact I even checked his address book and he has not got anyone called Lisa in it.

Then he PHONED every fucking person in his address book to enquire if they had sent him this message that does not exist. he has about 50 numbers in his address book and now he is moaning that his credit has almost run out!

This guy really needs to get a fucking life!