I got a phonecall from Wayne last night. When he phones me he never allows the phone to ring properly. I am normally in the front room and my phone is in the bedroom. He will always wait until I’m about an inch away from the phone and then he will hang up!

I swear he is looking through my window or has some kind of webcam set up secretly so he knows when to hang up.

He said that the company where he is working is looking for people. Apparently they would not require any experience as long as the persons are willing to work hard and not slouch about and skive off.
I told him that I would be very interested and he said that he would have a word with the boss for me sometime this week.

It would be nice if this came through.

He also said that I did not have to pay anymore on the phone that I brought from him. I had agreed to pay £100 but had only paid £25 of the amount so far.

I’m wondering who this imposter is and what he has done with my money-grabbing brother!

Acton Town lost again on Saturday, this time we went down 4-2 against Samba Street Soccer. The annoying thing is that we were actually 2-0 up and playing some nice football until that second goal went in.

As soon as we were 2-0 up you could see the midfield getting cocky and showing off, that is when the midfield parted like the Red Sea and the home side started pounding the defence. We only had three of us in defence but we did a good job, otherwise it could have been 20-2!

The midfield do this all the fucking time. The entire team starts off fighting and challenging for every ball and then when the second half starts the players look like they have left their fight with the empty bottles of drink!

You then have 45 minutes of the midfield parting and forcing the defence to have to handle the pressure.

I picked up my third bookng of the season. Nobody can ever say that I do not fight for every ball, go into challenges and give my all for the team!

So I’m sitting on a bench at Perivale station waiting for the train that will take me to Bethnal Green, after football training on Thursday evening, when I open a bottle of Coke and it sprays on me a little bit. Right on my crotch.

It now looked like I had wet myself a little bit.

I spent the next five minutes frantically wiping my crotch area with tissues that I had brought to blow my nose with, whilst two blokes tried not to piss themselves with laughter, not forgetting to loudly let people on the platform know what I had done.

I got onto the train and was relieved to find my carriage was empty. So I sat down and put my football bag on my lap to cover my ‘embarrassment’. It was almost dry anyway, I thought it would have dried by the time I got to Bethnal Green (40 minutes later) and the stain would have disappeared.

I soon forgot about it as I was listening to my MP3 player and engrossed in the newspaper.

After finishing my newspaper I looked up and saw a woman sitting opposite me who was looking over at me, when I caught her glance I gave her a quick smile as I folded the newspaper, she responded by smiling back at me.

Normally when I have finished with a newspaper I will merely toss it onto an empty seat for someone else to read when they get on the train. Seeing as there were no empty seats I went to put it behind me on the back of the chairs when she gave me a look that had me thinking that she wanted the paper if I was finished with it.

I offered her the paper and she took it and mouthed “thank you” and gave me another smile.

At that momment I saw we had arived at Bethnal Green station and I got up and slung my bag over my shoulder and got off the train and was halfway up the escalator when I noticed that the wet patch had not gone! The woman who I had been smiling at had seen me stand up and got a sight of me with a wet patch on my crotch area!

I’m glad she never got off the bloody train!

PlusNet are the biggest bunch of cunts in the ISP pool, and trust me that is some bloody acheivement!

Last month I ended up in debt because PlusNet were trying to take the wrong amount of money from my bank account. They were supposed to take £31.99 but they were trying to take £63.98. This was an error with their computer which nobody bothered to sort out.

So they were asking my bank (who are also cunts!) for £63.98, and obviously there was not enough in the account at the time to cover that, so the bank would refuse it and then promptly charge me £35.00.

Rather than send me an email to let me know, PlusNet fucking tried a further four more times! Obviously the bank happily charges £35.00 everytime so I was left with a debt of £175.00. Plus my bank then charged me another £45.00 for abusing my overdraft that month!

The direct debit was cancelled so I had to phone PlusNet and after being kept on hold for almost TWO FUCKING HOURS! I explained the situation to the bloke and all he did was piss himself laughing! I paid the £31.99 and he said he would set up the direct debit again for me and make sure this would never happen again …. AND I BELIEVED HIM!

Fast forward to this month and what do we have? I went online Tuesday morning only to find that my service has been disabled until I pay the bill.

That is odd, I have around £70.00 (not including my overdraft) in my account so there should have been more than enough to take the £31.99. I telephoned my bank this morning and they had not even made an attempt to take the payment!

That’s right! The direct debit had not been set up, they had not made ANY contact with me or my bank! But they still disabled my service!

Tuesday afternoon, at about 4pm, I phoned them up to pay the bill. I was left on hold for THREE HOURS! I gave up.

Every 30 seconds the music stops and you think you are about to get put through to someone but then you get this irritating women on the line telling you how important your call is to them and how the agents are not sitting about picking their noses!

I stole this from the very cool Dana’s Live Journal page.

Dear Lucozade Sport people,

A very sore handed, sore throated, thirsty, annoyed customer.